By Uncle Bill
’Tis a glorious, florious flag-waving day
To remember our heroes who’ve gone by the way.
Memorial, Veterans and Patriot’s Day, too
Armed Forces, Independence, just to name one or two.
We conquered the Indians and Spanish Grandees
Brought all who opposed us down to their knees.
Tojo, Mussolini, Noriega, as well
Saddam and Bin Laden? We sent them to Hell!
Ho Chi Minh, Aguinaldo, Che Guevara are gone.
Red Cloud and Tecumseh…we met them head-on.
We’ve invaded or sent troops all over the world.
Only three have ne’er seen Old Glory unfurled!
Liechtenstein, Andorra, Bhutan are the three
Why we’ve left them alone is a mystery to me!
If America’s really the cops of the Earth,
I think we should invade them, for what it is worth.
To the poor of the earth, we’ve brought freedom and joy
We’ve fought 22 wars since I was a boy.
Bombs, guns, tanks and planes and religion we’re giving
To help to maintain our standard of living.
All over the globe, peace and love, we have sown.
Making sure others’ values coincide with our own.
So to all our brave soldiers let’s raise a salute
On this glorious day, for our soldiers let’s root!
We need lots more days where we wave flags and shout
“We’re the great Ubermensch.” That’s what it’s all about!
By Uncle Bill—former staff sergeant USMC, humanitarian and acknowledged hypocrite.